Redesigning the Life I Never Knew Was Possible

Redesigning My Life

Pruning is a key part of change

After I shared Part One and Part Two of The Move, so much has unfolded quietly, sometimes painfully, and often, beautifully. What I didn't expect was how much life would continue to evolve even after the relocation was actualised. That move marked not an ending but the beginning of a new season of learning and unlearning.

Let me be honest with you: this new chapter wasn't something I intentionally orchestrated.

It was forged in the pause of a global pandemic.

It was 2020. The world was locked down, and so was I. Physically. Emotionally. Even spiritually.

I had moved back home to apply for the Exceptional Talent Visa, which would allow me to return and remain in the UK. But beneath the paperwork and logistics, I was in the middle of a personal reset I hadn't seen coming.

I found myself, for the first time in years, at a standstill. Waiting for clarity and direction.

No distractions. No flights. No performance. Just me.

I was in the middle of what some might call a quiet midlife reckoning.

Projects I'd poured myself into were stalled.

Parts of my past were still unsettled.

There were financial threads I hadn't fully untangled.

From the outside, it seemed like a transition.

But on the inside, it felt like exposure.

My life looked nothing like success.

It didn't feel glamorous.

I felt suspended as if I'd missed my moment.

But something was being made in that stillness.

That season was humbling.

The pandemic stripped everything back to the core.

I began asking myself questions I had been too busy or too afraid to ask before.

Hard ones. The kind you avoid when you're always running:

Who am I without the doing?

What dreams had I shelved under survival?

What parts of my identity were never really mine to carry?

It was during this time that I browsed my small library at home in Nigeria and, for some reason, picked up The Smart Money Woman by Arese Ugwu. I'd bought it before I left, knowing academics wouldn't afford me the time to read it, but it was one of the books I'd always planned to return to.

And now, here I was, still stripped back and searching for direction.

I had emptied my savings, taken on some debt in pursuit of growth, and was beginning to realise that while purpose mattered, financial clarity mattered, too.

It made sense to reach for a book on financial literacy.

However, what I found was something even more profound: an unexpected mirror.

If you haven't read it, I hope you do. Here is an Amazon link to the book if you are in the UK.

Somewhere in The Smart Money Woman, the main character, Zuri, is mentored by her friend Tsola to face her financial reality. He challenges her to document the future she wants, map where she is, and get painfully honest about the gap.

That jumped out at me.

It wasn't just about money.

It was about ownership. Of vision. Of voice. Of the kind of life you dare to imagine.

Tsola's advice was deeply practical, similar to what we would do in a business case analysis.

He helped Zuri confront her debt, take small but deliberate steps toward financial freedom, and reframe her mindset around money.

But what moved me most was the part where he told her to define her ideal life, whatever that looked like, and then work backwards to figure out how to achieve it.

That was my line. I ran with it, and since 2020, I have continued to do so.

So I did the same.

I wrote it all down.

The life I wanted.

Where I was.

What was working?

What was draining me?

The dreams I still had but had buried in survival mode.

On paper, it looked ridiculous.

Unlikely. Far-off.

But it was honest, and that honesty gave me something I hadn't felt in a long time: a sense of purpose along with direction.

I knew what I wanted, and I knew why.

I started to rebuild.

Not from scratch but from the parts of me that had always worked.

I paid attention to my patterns, noting where I thrived and struggled.

I didn't chase perfection. I just began.

That practice, to date, has changed how I approach everything, from goal-setting and visioning to navigating uncertainty and committing to anything I pour my energy into.

It's powerful to imagine endless possibilities and move toward them one day at a time.

I Treated My Life Like a Design Project

I had picked up on design thinking during my studies, and I knew it wasn't just for building products or solving business problems. It was a way of navigating uncertainty and solving wicked problems. So, I turned that lens inward. Mine was no way near bad. Lol.

Quietly. Personally. Without a grand plan.

I treated my life like a design project.

I was the product, the prototype, and the designer.

I began by empathising with myself, really listening to what I needed, not what I thought I should need.

I defined my 'why,' which is what mattered most, what gave me joy, and what motivated me to get out of bed on the hard days.

I paid attention to where I felt alive and where I felt like I was shrinking.

I made minor adjustments to my routines, boundaries, and time management over time.

I watched how I responded. What gave me energy? What drained it?

I sought critical feedback and honest, loving truth from people who knew me deeply.

And I reflected like never before.

I also began to prioritise positive energy, spaces and people around whom I could be myself without feeling performative.

No more shape-shifting to fit.

Just honest connections, simple joys, and permission to be.

It became an empowering process of self-awareness and becoming.

It wasn't comfortable, nor was it a linear experience.

 But it was mine. A lone journey of becoming.

And somehow, piece by piece, it all started to add up.

A Quiet Becoming

Redesigning my life didn't happen all at once. In all honesty, it is still happening.

And it came through silence. Surrender. Stillness.

Through letting go of what I thought should be and listening for what could be.

But it also came through discipline.

I started walking 14,000 steps a day, not just for fitness but for clarity.

I read more and chose to continue learning, not just for career purposes but for depth, clarity and perspective.

I embraced frugality even more, not as a sign of lack, but as a means of aligning with my purpose.

I invested what I could, mostly in myself.

I started building a side hustle, piece by piece.

I mentored others. I coached where I could.

I gave away what I had learned because meaning multiplies when it's shared.

And in the middle of it all, I tried to find beauty in the chaos.

And quiet in the beaming noise all around.

I tarried in the ordinary, unfolding grace of becoming.

You may be in that place too.

Somewhere between what was and what's next.

If so, let me say this:

You are not a fool for starting over.

You're not behind. You're not too late.

You are becoming, quietly and bravely, on your terms.

And that matters more than any perfect plan.

And if you haven't started, start now!

In Part Two, I'll share one of the most unexpected lessons that reshaped everything I am and do today.

How my mindset around freedom, empowerment, and money evolved, and what it means to build a life that is sustainable in the long run.

But for now, this is where I leave you.

In the middle of the pause, something new begins.

I hope you find the stillness to ponder on your journey, too.

With grace & grit

Mofoluke